


A Thousand Moments Gone

by Hunterarroww



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Angst, Character Death, Did I Mention Angst?, Drug Abuse, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heavy Angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad times coming, Slow Build, TV version of Malec, alternative ending, set after 1x12, suprises, talk of death, warning you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-03-01 15:06:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18802780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hunterarroww/pseuds/Hunterarroww
Summary: What if Magnus never came to the institute the night of Alec’s wedding to Lydia, what if instead he left New York to get away from the hope of a new beginning of love being destroyed.What if Magnus forgot to ever go back and now too much time has passed.What if Magnus never really left the past behind and now it’s coming back to bite him in the ass! Hard!





	1. Chapter 1 - Time gone by

**Author's Note:**

> Bolds are thoughts

The portal opened into the darkness, Magnus stepped through and his feet landed on a carpet long forgotten.

The air was stale, and the dust blown up from the disruption the portal made in the loft caused Magnus to cough.

 

He looked around the room he once called home, slowly running his fingers though the dust covered furniture, has it really been so long since he stepped foot here. New York.

 

His wards protected the loft, kept it safe from anyone who would try to claim it as theirs. He opened the balcony doors wide letting the fresh, well almost fresh air of Brooklyn in. Snapping his fingers, the lights illuminated the loft out of its darkness. Autumn in New York always brought dark nights, or at least that’s how he remembered it.

 

Shaking off his jacket Magnus moved his hands and arms in a fluid motion, gathering his magic. With one final sweep he flung his arms out, casting his magic over the loft in a bright blue, cleaning it of the dust and cobwebs, of the staleness and the build-up of time forgotten.

 

Moving though the loft brought back memories, some good and some not so. His eyes lingered on the couches in his living area, **time for a change** he thought to himself. Snapping his fingers to banish the ones there and replacing them with new. He did this for most of the loft, working from room to room until he reached his bedroom. Looking at the walls and the bed he chose not to change this room, memories here were of better times.

 

He slowly lingered through the loft, taking it all back in, he made himself a drink at his bar cart and walked outside. His balcony overlooked the Brooklyn bridge and the surrounding area. So much seemed to have changed and at the same time small areas looked like they had never been touched.

 

Taking in the night he sighed to himself, has it truly been 115 years since he last stepped foot in New York?

 

**Oh, how time has passed**.


	2. Chapter 2 – New York, New York

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts

In the morning Magnus woke to the sun creeping in though the gap in his curtains, he stretched his arms up over this head, arching his back up as he let the last of his sleep leave his body. Sighing contently, he had missed this bed.

 

Today he was going to explore the city, explore the streets and see how much has changed. What once was and what is now new.

His morning, or late morning in Magnus’ case was done at a leisurely pace. He got up and showered, opened the doors to his walk-in closet and picked out his outfit for the day the mundane way. He did everything the mundane way that morning, his clothes, make up and breakfast, although he did have to summon the ingredients in.

 

He stepped foot out the building and decided to walk instead of making multiple portals. Wrapped warmly in a long navy overcoat he hit the pavement. Mundane’s have not changed much over the years, though Magnus didn’t need to come back to New York to know that, it’s been the same in every country, every city he’s been too. Technology grows, and people adapt to using it, fashion changes and what was once considered old becomes new again. He shudders as he remembers when fishnets and tank tops came back around, **nope once was enough for them** , he thinks to himself as he shakes his head in fondness.

 

His early afternoon is filled with visiting the places he spent most of his time, the last time he was here. As he walks up to the old building he once knew as a rundown area he smiles to himself, he remembers receiving a fire message from Raphael saying quite snarky how he was closing Pandemonium since he couldn’t be bothered to come back and run it himself. Now as he looks at where his club use to stand is a row of overly expensive and posh looking apartment complex, “Maybe I could move the loft over to here” he mumbles to himself, smiling as he pictures Raphael face when he tells him.

 

His trip down memory lane isn’t all filled with happy memories and sassy friends, it also has him thinking sad thoughts as well, none more than as he walks to the clearing housing the Institute. He stares at the old church until his eyes can no longer bare the images and he closes them, trying, but failing as hazel eyes and messy black hair enter his thoughts.

 

When he left he was heartbroken over a chance at a love he never got to explore. At a chance to feel happiness for even a short moment in time. Magnus shut himself off from everyone when he left, needing the time to himself to start over new. He travelled the world in the time he’s been away, exploring countries he had not visited in centuries.

 

In his darker days he used to think of what his life would have been like if he stayed in New York. Would he have been forced to watch a life of two souls struggle in their political marriage? Would he have been forced to work along side him as if nothing was wrong or different? Would he have been forced to watch as children entered this world? Would he have been forced to watch as time took its tole as black became grey and hazel became dull? Those days he drank more than usual, he drank to forget hazel eyes and black messy hair, he drank to forget Alexander Lightwood.

 

He opens his eyes to silent tears falling down his cheeks, for all his thoughts of ‘what if’ there is only one which still haunts him, even after all this time.

 

Did he ever find happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to talk on Twitter use #ATMGfic =]


	3. Chapter 3 – Old friends will always punch you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts

Its early evening by the time Magnus finishes his trip around New York, he’s hungry and was going to stop by one of his favourite restaurants only to find it now closed. It’s a shame since it had been opened since the 1920’s but it’s one more thing of something changing.

 

He’s walking down a familiar street when a fire messages flies towards him, he catches it and smiles to himself as he would recognise that handwriting anywhere. Catarina.

It’s a short message but has him chuckling anyway: _Get your ass over here so I can kick it!_

He portals there and it’s not until he’s stepping into Catarina’s Livingroom that he’s hit with tears building up in his eyes. “Oh, how I’ve missed you my dear.”

 

“Missed me?... You’re the one who left! Idiot!” Catarina shrieks at him as she’s moving to pull him into a bone crushing hug.

 

Magnus laughs and embraces her back. Its nice to feel his oldest friends’ arms wrapped around him, to hear the slight hitch in Catarina’s breathing as she rests her cheek against his shoulder. He really has missed her dearly.

 

They pull back and look at each other, both examining the other to make sure they still have all limbs and features. Catarina doesn’t have her glamour up and her blue skin is still as vibrant and striking as magnus remembers. She’s not wearing her usual scrubs but instead a pair of jeans and a soft tee. She looks relaxed and it makes his smile grow.

 

Once Catarina has finished her own overview of magnus to her satisfaction, he’s not quite expecting the fist which makes contact with his upper arm. “Oww!... Was that really necessary?” he wines while rubbing the spot where her fist collided.

 

“Yes” is all she replies with a smirk creeping on her face.

 

Magnus smiles back and doesn’t say any more of the matter, he owes Catarina an explanation, but he doesn’t want to do it tonight. Tonight, he just wants to enjoy the company of his friend. They ease into conversation, its light and airy, nothing too heavy yet, mainly on whether they are both doing okay.

 

“Are you still at the hospital?” Magnus asks, but the snort he receives is more of an answer than actual words.

 

“Hospital, really Magnus?” she rolls her eyes “The hospital went digital years ago, most of the world hospitals did, there aren’t much need for nurses anymore.”

 

“I’m sorry Cat, that must have been hard for you? I know how much helping the mundane world mattered to you.” Magnus speaks fondly.

 

“It did yes, but time has changed, and I still help where I can. Besides I’m kept plenty busy in the Downworld now anyway.” She answers.

 

“How do you mean?” curiosity gets the better of Magnus and he still has much to catch up on.

 

Catarina asks if he’s spoken to Raphael since getting back and at the shake of his head she becomes more guarded, it makes him frown and intrigues him at the same time.

 

“Cat? What does Raphael have to do with you and the Downworld?” he finally asks when it looks like Catarina isn’t going to offer him an explanation to her questioning.

She looks a little reserved now and sighs.

 

“He’s not the same man he used to be, none of us are now Magnus and you may find too much time has passed for things to just be as they were.” It’s not the answer he was expecting, and it gives him more questions than answers, but she continues.

 

“Raphael is the leader of all the Downworld in New York”

 

This Magnus had not been expecting and he can’t hide the sheer shock from his face.


	4. Chapter 4 - Old friends will always punch you. part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts
> 
> Will probably start to only post one chapter at a time from now on. they will also get a little bit longer. =]

By the time magnus is stepping out the portal back into his own loft the shock has still not left him, Catarina refused to discuss the matter anymore, saying it would be best for him to speak with Raphael directly as he would be better at explain it.

 

She conjured up a late dinner for them and magnus let her know about what he’s been up too. The counties he’s visited and the adventures he’s been on. She seems happy to hear his stories and to know that he is okay. They part with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to have dinner again next week.

 

Its night time now and he decides to send a fire message to Raphael, letting him know he’s back in New York and that he would love to meet up and catch up if he’s free. He’s making himself a drink and it’s not long later when he feels the familiar nudge at his wards, followed by a knocking at his door.

 

He smiles to himself when he opens the door, knowing who it is anyway, but he’s not prepared for the fist which collides with his other upper arm as way of greeting.

 

“Oww!... Do all my old friends find it necessary to hit me in greeting now?” he moans as he steps back rubbing the new spot.

 

“It’s your own fault and you know it! Idiot!” Raphael doesn’t wait for Magnus to recover as he steps inside the loft, he looks around and hums as he takes in the changes Magnus made last night.

 

“Still, I would prefer if we could at least make an agreement to not keep punching me in the arm every time we meet.” The door closes behind him as he walks over to the boy he once saved. He gets nothing but a shrug as a response. They stand looking at each other for a moment, silence encasing them.

 

“It’s good to see you” Raphael finally says, though he looks tired and slightly drawn out.

 

“Would you like a drink? I still make a mean bloody Mary.” Magnus chuckles as he walks over to his drinks cart. He prepares himself a whiskey sour and a double shot of ‘O neg’ bloody Mary before settling down on the couch, Raphael already making himself at home.

 

“I like what you’ve done to the place.” Raphael sates as he points around the room.

 

“Needed a bit of TLC when I got back last night, and I needed to change a few things up.” It’s not much of an answer, but one of the things Magnus loves the most about Raphael is that the boy doesn’t pry, he receives a shrug instead.

 

They sit together in a semi awkward silence and it begins to irritate Magnus, he’s never been good at the silence and with Raphael who could pass for a statue if he really wanted, it’s excruciating.

 

“I saw Cat this afternoon, she mentioned you were the leader of the Downworld here in New York? That’s big, hum?” He’s not sure on how to approach the subject and he sees Raphael stiffen slightly as he speaks, it makes him more annoyed, as he feels his friends are trying to hid something from him.

 

“Wasn’t originally my decision” Raphael starts before sighing, “was voted in by the other Downworld leaders here… after everything that happened… it was the best choice.” He finally finishes but it still leaves Magnus with more questions than answers.

 

**Ugh! Why can’t I get a straight answer**.

 

“What happened?” If they won’t say it themselves then Magnus is going to pry until someone lets him know.

 

“Valentine”


	5. Chapter 5 – A step into the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but will start to pick up from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts

“Valentine” is all that Raphael answers with and the name itself gets the hairs on the back of Magnus’s neck standing on end. He heard from other Downworlders during his time away of Valentines attack on New York. A part of him wanted to come back, to help his friends but the other part was too afraid to do so, to see the life his hazel eyed Shadowhunter was living.

 

Magnus doesn’t realise at first that Raphael is just staring at him, that he’s no longer talking, and it makes him uneasy when he turns to look at him.

 

“Sorry… you were saying?” He tries to recover. Raphael just hums and nods his head, clearly not believing Magnus’ brush off, but doesn’t press the matter. It takes a little while, but Raphael begins to speak again.

 

“He attacked New York and we were not as prepared as we should have been, the signs were there but the Shadowhunters refused to believe them, and by the time the attack came it was too late… Many died because of it, on both sides.” Magnus sees the sadness in his friends’ eyes, eyes which have witnessed many brutal deaths. It makes him regret not coming back even more.

 

“But surly Ale-Alexander“ his breath hitches and he takes a moment to compose himself before continuing, “surly him and Clary would have believed you and the signs?” He tries not believing they would have let hundreds of innocent people die, “Clary surly would have believed Lucian about Valentine?” He asks for any kind of answers.

 

 **I can’t believe otherwise**.

 

“She did, but the Clave didn’t believe her.” He shrugs “hard to make an entire community believe you when you have no proof for evidence.” Raphael speaks so casually, and it makes Magnus realise it was nothing more than a blink of an eye for an immortal, still doesn’t stop the hurt he feels though.

 

“We won eventually, but like I said not without losses” Raphael finishes, and Magnus is too afraid to ask about who was lost. How many good people he once knew who are no longer here. Too afraid to know if Alexander didn’t make it, the thought alone makes his heart clench.

 

Raphael must see the look in his eyes and shakes his head, standing to get ready to leave. Magnus follows him with his eyes but no word leave his mouth, he can’t bring himself to speak.

 

“It’s been a long time my friend and many people, good people we once knew are long gone from this world. Don’t let your thoughts wonder too long in the past, you know as well as I do we can’t go back to change it.” There’s a sad smile on Raphael’s face when he finishes, and he turns to leave.

 

“Wait!” Magnus shouts, standing up “you never said how you became the leader of the Downworld?” He enquires.

 

“In the aftermath that followed, the New York Downworlders were scattered and afraid, stability was needed, and everyone came together to build a new community… a… a friend vouched for me.” With that Raphael speeds out of Magnus’ loft and out into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #ATMGfic if anyone is interested.


	6. Chapter 6 – Daylight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like where this is going so far, things start to pick up a little now.  
> Tags have been added, please take note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts

It’s been a week since Magnus returned to New York, he’s settled in quite well and begun to get his baring’s again, taking on a few clients recommended by Catarina. He hasn’t seen many people, not that there are many people he would remember. He’s had dinner with Catarina a few nights and once with Raphael. He was still reluctant to tell Magnus too much of time passed but he was forth coming about his clan. Magnus was happy to hear the joy in Raphael’s voice at the pride he has for his clan, his family. He was in the middle of a story about the clan when something caught Magnus’ attention.

 

…

 

“… Its was all going well, the werewolves were finally coming around to our way when Simon decides to open his mouth with one of his stupid comic book references and then next thing we know there’s complete uproar, I’ve never seen…”

 

“Wait!... SIMON!” Magnus shouts. It’s the first person Magnus has heard survived the attack and Raphael sighs in frustration at his loose slip. Magnus can’t quite believe it, if Simon survived surly he’s still around, if that’s so why hasn’t Magnus seen him yet? Maybe he’s still angry with him?

 

“Shit!” Raphael curses and resolves himself to telling Magnus more, especially with Magnus’ wide puppy dog eyes staring at him, “Yes Simon survived, he took a big blow in the attack, lost his mundane family and his family within the wolves. He doesn’t like to talk about it.” Magnus’s eyes widen even more, if that’s possible.

 

“It can’t be… not Lucian?” Magnus whispers. Raphael nods slowly.

 

“Yes Magnus, Luke and his entire wolf pack were some of the first to be slaughter by Valentine, retaliation for his betrayal from his circle days. Valentine killed his pack first before murdering Luke.” The room falls silent as Magnus takes it in. Not knowing how to process the new information.

 

…

 

He still hasn’t seen Simon since his dinner with Raphael, but he’s not expecting a welcome home card and hug, he was close with Clary and the Lightwood’s after all and for someone so new to being an immortal, the loss of them would still be relatively new to him.

 

**Still has time to learn**.

 

It’s a cold day but Magnus is taking a walk through the city anyway, he’s been having lunch at all the new places to see which restaurants, diners and dive bars he likes. Which he suspects will be around for a while and which are so bad they may not last the year. He walks pass a fully digital diner, everything but the chef is online. You sit at your table; the menu pops up on your phone or device once your connected and you order. Once the chef has made your food your phone or device lets you know, and you go and collect your food.

**Technology** he sighs. **Takes away all the human interaction.**

 

He’s heading to a new place for lunch today, a dive bar which used to be the ‘Hunters Moon’ he found out from a werewolf client that it was destroyed a few decades ago and has been taking over by the Vampires, it offers a late lunch and bar food and drinks on the night time. Magnus chuckled to himself when he first heard the werewolf describe it too him.

 

He was sad to hear the ‘Hunters moon’ was now gone but ‘Daylight’ as its now called, again this made Magnus chuckle, Vampires running a dive bar and offering lunch, during the day. It has good reviews online for its food and bar atmosphere. He’s standing outside looking at the front of the bar, its windows are tinted which makes sense and made a smirk play on his lips, the front has been painted but the layout seems to look much the same as before.

 

Sighing, he opens and steps through the doorway, closing the door behind him. He takes in the large room, much like the outside not a lot has changed on the inside, the wall have been painted and the large room looks like its split in two, the front has a few extra tables strategically placed, the dining area, and the back still has the pool table and high tables, bar area.

 

He looked around, noticing no other customers and taking in the room when his breath catches in this throat, sitting at the corner of the bar is a small boy, he’s looking at Magnus with wide eyes and a shy smile, but it’s not the boy himself which has Magnus unable to breathe, it’s the mass of unruly black hair and beautifully bright hazel eyes.

 

Magnus moves slowly towards him and realises that he’s just staring at the boy. Once he’s in front of the him, the little boy smiles wider and it’s like the last of his breath has been ripped from him and he’s not sure if words will work.

 

“Hi, welcome to Daylight” the little boy says.

 

“H-hi” Magnus croaks out, he scolds himself mentally for his complete lack of cool but it’s like he’s looking at a window to his past. The boy couldn’t be more then seven or eight years old.

 

“Would you like something to eat or drink?” The boy asks as he leans over the counter to grab a menu, it has Magnus smiling at his little enthusiasm and grabs the paper menu when he passes it to him.

 

“Paper menus? No digital?” Magnus asks, its not the first question he has, but the rest don’t seem right to interrogate a little boy with.

 

“Nope.” He pops the ‘P’ and it has Magnus chuckling.

 

“Well thank you, I’ll have a look to see what I fancy to eat… I’m Magnus by the way, Magnus Bane” he says holding out his hand and the little boy takes it to shake.

 

“Nice to meet you Magnus, I’m Max… Max Lightwood”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #ATMGfic if anyone is interested.


	7. Chapter 7 – A day to remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not getting to update last weekend, returning back to work had me crazy! here's 2 chapters to make up for it.

“Max… Max Lightwood”

 

Magnus isn’t sure if he’s spinning or the room is, or if its just the air being knocked from his lungs. He thought the resemblance was striking but to actually hear his name has him gasping for air. He’s still gripping onto Max’s hand and when he realises he releases it immediately. But he can’t quite pull his eyes away from staring. Max is still smiling at Magnus and Magnus can’t help but smile back, he really is just too cute.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Max, you know…” he starts slowly “you look very similar to someone I used you know a long time ago… he was a Lightwood too” Magnus states, felling his throat close tighter around the words, but smiling wider when Max’s eyes shine.

 

“You’re a Warlock? Aren’t you?” Magnus can see the excitement radiating off him and he nods in agreement “WOW!” He’s about to talk more, to tell Max all about the Lightwood’s he used to know when a voice distracts him, his mind throwing him into the past.

 

“Max Lightwood! What do you think you are doing?” Magnus lifts his head sharply, towards the voice, and for the second time that day his breath is knocked out of him. He would recognise this beauty anywhere, the sharp wit and killer style.

 

Standing before him is none other the Isabelle Lightwood, she looks exactly like she did 115 years ago, the last time magnus saw her. The only difference now is that where there was once striking black runes, her skin is now pale and naked. Isabelle is staring at Magnus with pure shock and Max is just staring between the two of them, not understanding what is happening.

 

“Ho… How?” Magnus asks, he can’t think.

 

Isabelle doesn’t answer him just stares before remembering Max is still in the room and turns her attention to him instead.

 

“Max, I told you to stay in the back room until…” She looks at magnus briefly, “until it was time for you to go home? Why are you out here?” She crosses her arms over her chest waiting for Max to answer, Magnus watches as he dips his head and shy’s away, upset that he’s being told off.

 

“I wanted to help out” Max whispers, “I noticed the straws needed refilling and you always let me do this job aunt Izzy” He looks up and has tears in his eyes, it breaks Magnus heart at how vulnerable he looks, but it’s the ‘aunt Izzy’ that has him freaking out inside. Magnus watches Isabelle deflate from her stern look and moves closer to them to learn over the counter.

 

“I didn’t mean to shout at you Maxie, but could you give me a moment with this customer and go get your things all packed away in the back? Please?” Max nods and holds his hands out to Izzy to be pulled over the counter. She smiles, and she swings him round and places him down on the ground again. Before he runs off though he looks back to wave at Magnus.

 

“Bye Magnus” he waves “it was very nice to meet you.” With that he’s running into the back and Magnus is alone with Isabelle.

**Isabelle Lightwood** he thinks to himself. She’s not looking at him and Magnus can see the torment running though her head, thinking about how this conversation is going to go. He’s not sure on what to say himself, he takes the seat next to him and places the menu back onto the counter, his appetite gone.

 

It’s just the two of them in silence, both avoiding eye contact and the awkwardness growing between them becomes more strained, he wants to talk, wants to find out what happened. He’s put the pieces together in is head that she’s a Vampire now but how this happened is the question on the tip of his tongue.

 

After what feels like hours but in reality, is only minutes, he eventually looks over at her and Izzy’s eyes meet his, they soften slightly, and he can’t help but feel emotional about it all. Isabelle Lightwood was one of the strongest Shadowhunters he knew and now she’s a Downworlder.

 

“How?” He asks his earlier question again.

 

Izzy doesn’t get the chance to answer though as the next thing Magnus is aware of is being pushed hard against the wall, his head hitting off it and his eyes closing at the impact. Hands are gripping him and when he gains his senses, he opens his eyes and its like his whole world has just crumbled.

 

“Get Out!” The voice he’s dreamed of hearing aloud again for so long is cold and calculated and his heart is breaking all over again. His eyes are filling with tears and his throat closing around him.

...

...

...

...

 

 

 

“Alexander?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well done kbl55429 you got it right! =]


	8. Chapter 8 – Learning how to breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts.

“Alexander?” The word left him in no more than a whisper, he wanted to reach out, to touch, to see if this was in fact real but the eyes staring back at him told him he was not welcome too. They were cold and hard, the pain hidden within them was fierce, this was not the man he used to know.

 

“Alec! Let him go” Izzy’s voice called out. She hasn’t moved, hasn’t come to help Magnus but there was concern in her tone, “Please.” Alec’s hands gripped tighter into his coat and a snarl left his lips, Magnus didn’t want to think it was true, didn’t want to believe it, but when a flicker of fang escaped Alec’s lower lip in his effort to keep himself from snarling, it was all confirmed before his eyes.

 

Magnus is certain he’s having a heart attack, that Alec can hear the blood pumping rapidly through his veins and he’s pretty certain Alec would kill him on the spot if its not for a small, scared voice breaking the tension. Magnus sees the shift in Alec’s eyes, the hurt and hatred being replaced with fear and concern. While Magnus’ show nothing but confusion and panic.

 

“Get out” Alec says one more time before he’s loosening his grip on Magnus’ coat and stepping back slowly, still watching Magnus like a hunter would watch it’s pray before attacking. “Now!”

 

It’s all too much for Magnus, he can’t believe what’s happening before him, what he’s hearing, and he scrambles for the door and fresh air. His world is spinning out of control and he doesn’t know how to stop it, what to do.

 

Thinking purely on instinct he opens a portal to the one person who would have answers for him. He stumbles out and into the meeting Raphael is holding in the Hotel Dumort, he almost crashes into a sixteenth century vase is his hast. He’s still disorientated, his breathing ragged and panic is still rising inside him. So many questions.

 

“Magnus? What is the meaning of this? I’m in a meeting” Raphael shouts as he stands and moves closer to him, he’s leaning against the wall, facing away from the room to try and get his breathing under control, he senses Raphael approaching him, but he still can’t form any words. He closes his eyes and tries to centre himself. His old friend looking at him with concern. It takes a few more moments but he’s calming and now answer need to be had.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispers, still not looking at his friend but knowing he’s heard him. Vampire hearing and all.

 

“Magnus, you’re not making any sense, can’t this wait? This meeting is important” Raphael asks, irritation clear in his voice.

 

“No” he breaths calmly, “why didn’t you tell me?” He tries again, still looking at the wall.

 

“Magnus tell you what? You really are not making…”

 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?” Magnus shouts, turning to look at his old friend with betrayal and fear. Tears finally letting loose and streaming silently down his cheeks. Raphael understands now what Magnus is referring too.

 

He turns back to those gathered for this meeting and apologies for the interruption but advises this is a matter he must deal with and asks to reschedule. They nod in agreement and leave the room. Before long it’s only Magnus and Raphael present.

 

Its quiet, too quiet as neither one of them speaks, Magnus’ harsh breathing the only sound resonating around the room. It’s eerie and unsettling, and any other day Magnus would make a joke or crack the tension in some way, but now all he can do is continue to stare at one of his oldest friends, the boy who he helped raised and feel betrayed.  

 

Raphael is looking at him calmly, thinking over his answers, his explanation of what is most likely to be a shit show. He didn’t want this to happen like this, for his friend and mentor to find out like this but looks like he couldn’t save him from this after all.

 

“Shit!” He breaths out, “how did you find out?” He asks Magnus and receives a cold, unamusing laugh.

 

“How did I find out?... How did I FIND out? NOT! By _you_!!!” Magnus is shouting, pacing the room in panic, hyperventilating and it has Raphael moving quickly to his side.

 

“Breathe my friend, breathe” he states calmly while holding Magnus in place, watching as Magnus follows his instructions. “I’m sorry… I did not know how to tell you, but it is also not my place to tell you.”

 

“Not your place? You could have told me the other night when we were talking about our lives for the past century, I told you everything, you knew why I left New York, you could have said something then!” More tears fall from Magnus’ eyes as he tries to calm himself, tries to control his emotions.

 

“You have no right to be mad at me!” Raphael snaps, “you left Magnus, you left _all_ of us and we had to survive and move on.” Anger is clear in Rachael’s tone, “you think it’s been easy for any of us? We lost so much and some of us lost more than others. Some people changed so drastically they became unrecognisable to those around them and some became so lost we thought we may never get them back. And you’re mad at me because I didn’t tell you that _Alec Lightwood is now a Vampire_!”

 

Hearing the words out load cause Magnus to stagger back, to grip the wall and sink to the floor.

 

“How?” Is all that he can ask.


	9. Chapter 9 – A day like any other, well maybe not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not getting the update up at the weekend, things were a bit hectic! Hope you enjoy now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts

Raphael wouldn’t tell Magnus how Alec became a Vampire, kept saying it was not his story to tell. It made Magnus mad at first and he demanded to know, to which Raphael just rolled his eyes at him and continued to be stubborn about it, having a staring contest with Magnus, which Magnus finally lost.

 

He left the Dumort still in a bit of a daze, wondered the streets trying and failing to come up with some kind of answers. He just couldn’t wrap his head around it, what would make Alexander Lightwood become a Vampire?

 

He thought maybe it could have had something to do with Isabelle. He considered going back to ‘Daylight’ but after the situation in which he left, deemed it not such a good idea.

 

He needed to talk to someone, anyone, who could clear things up for him. He texted Raphael just to see if he would reconsider talking with him, to which he got a ‘not safe for work’ reply mainly in Spanish, he didn’t realise there was that many Spanish curse words.

 

Next, he moved on to Catarina, she had stayed in New York all this time and from their dinners she has been working with Raphael for the past sixty years or so. She messaged him back straight away inviting him over for drinks in a few hours, stating she was just finishing up with a client and if he could bring take out that would be great.

 

Magnus wonders around before getting dinner at an Italian place he visited at the beginning of the week, pizza was one of Cat’s favourites and paired with a six pack which he got from the liquor store he was sure this would sweeten her up into talking.

 

He gets the all clear from Cat and portals into her Livingroom, she’s still cleaning up the last of her supplies when he dramatically slumps down onto her couch. Placing the pizza and six pack onto the coffee table.

“Woah! Looks like someone’s had a rough day?” She teases.

 

“You have no idea my dear… I need to ask you something and I need the truth” Magnus isn’t sure on how to start this, he doesn’t want to make the same mistakes as he did with Raphael, but he needs to know, needs answers, needs everyone to stop lying to him.

 

“Of cause Magnus, anything” Catarina sits cautiously down next to him and reaches out to hold onto this arm for comfort.

 

“Did you hide the fact that Alexander is a Vampire from me on purpose?” The tears are back in his eyes now, and this close Cat can see he’s been spending most of his day crying.

 

“Oh Magnus… I’m so sorry my dear.” She shakes her head and closes her eyes, feeling the pain he must be in, “I wanted to tell you the other night at dinner, but I didn’t know how, didn’t want to hurt you.” When she opens her eyes again to look at Magnus his tears are sliding down his cheeks silently, she reaches up to wipe them away, but Magnus pulls back.

 

“First Raphael and now you?” He whispers “why are the two most important people to me lying to me and… and saying it’s for my own good? What gives you the right to make that decision for me?” He doesn’t want to get angry again, not at Catarina, but he just can’t help it, he feels betrayed by both.

 

“Stop!” Cat demands. “You don’t get to blame us for trying to protect you, for trying to spare you this hurt.”

 

“What are you talking about Cat?” He feels deflated.

 

“Magnus, you left because your heart was broken, you found a Shadowhunter boy who ignited that spark within you which you let burn out centuries before. You were captivated by him, his beauty, his strength, his loyalty. How many nights did you call me just to tell me about him? Hum?... How many nights did you ask me if I thought you were crazy for falling for a Shadowhunter?... Watching him make that decision for his family broke you.” She moves closer to Magnus gripping his hands between hers.

“When you left so much changed in such a small moment of time, Valentine destroyed us, but the Shadowhunter’s were hit just as hard as us, they lost just as much at us.”

 

“I can’t tell you Alec’s story because its not for me to tell” Cat says, and it makes Magnus snort.

 

“Raphael said the same thing.”

 

“Then maybe you should listen to us.” She smirks, “if you heard it from us you would only get the version we know anyway, you wouldn’t get the whole story.” Magnus wants to yell, wants to be angry but he knows she’s right. Its not them he needs to hear it from, its Alec.

 

“Look, why don’t we eat this delicious smelling pizza, which you clearly bought as a bribe and have a couple beers, which you also bought as a bribe and watch some trash TV? We’ve both had a long day and could use the distraction.”

 

Magnus nods and settles further into Cat’s couch; the pizza is really good and although he’s not much of a beer drinker the bitter taste attacking his taste buds is better than constantly thinking about Alexander.

 

He thought his life had changed so much in the last 115 years but compared to everyone in New York he’s had it relatively easy.


	10. Chapter 10 – To make it out alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second chapter to make it up to you! =] 
> 
> ***Tags have been updated, PLEASE read them***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bolds are thoughts

It’s been a few days since Magnus found out Alexander is a Vampire, he’s tried to forget about it, tried to just do his work for his clients but it’s always there in the back of his mind. He wanted to go back to ‘Daylight’ to see if he could talk to him, or Isabelle but Cat said it would probably be best if Magnus kept his distance for now. That Alec would come to him when he’s ready.

 

Magnus suspected that Catarina and Raphael were keeping some kind of tabs on him or on Alec, but he wasn’t sure why exactly, sure Magnus left New York all those years ago, but it was Alexander who didn’t want anything to do with him.

 

He’s clearing up the last remints of a potion and walking back into his apothecary when there’s a knock on his door, he’s expecting his next client soon so waves his hand to open it, calling out for them to come in and make themselves comfortable and that he’ll be right out.

 

He almost trips over his own feet when standing in his Livingroom is none other than Isabelle Lightwood.

 

“Hi” she says quietly when Magnus is back, standing just at the tip of the evening sunlight coming through the open balcony doors. She looks radiant in a fitted blue and silver dress to her knees, ankle boots and a silver chain necklace finishing off the look.

 

“Hi” Magnus replies, he hasn’t moved form his spot, afraid if he does, she’ll disappear again. He’s staring at Isabelle, just staring when she moves her hand to push her hair behind her ears and fidgets slightly on the spot which causes her to step into the sunlight.

 

“You’re a Daylighter?” Magnus asks shocked, then reprimands himself.

**Of cause she is. Daylight! Run by Vampires, Isabelle was there! idiot!**

Isabelle laughs lightly and moves to twirl in the full range of the sunlight, she looks so relaxed and happy as she spins away. It makes Magnus’ heart clench to see her so free.

 

“One of the perks of becoming a Vampire when you’re a Nephilim, turns out my angel blood reacted with the Vampire venom and hear I am. Daylighter.” Isabelle is smiling at him, given him a genuine smile, full of happiness. Magnus can’t hold back any longer and moves closer to grab her into a bone crushing hug. She squeezes back just as hard and they stay there like this, just hugging each other for a few minutes.

 

“What happened?” Magnus finally asks as he pulls away, gesturing to the couch for them to sit. He summons up a cocktail for himself and a bloody Mary for Isabelle.

 

“I fell in love.” It’s a simple statement and she can’t keep the smile from spreading across her face.

 

“SIMON!” Magnus gasps, chuckling when Isabelle nods gleefully. “Wow! My dear, that truly is a turn of events.”

 

“Not really” she starts, grabbing the bloody Mary from the coffee table and taking a couple sips, humming in agreement of the taste. “After everything he did to help me, being there for me during it all, there was no one else I could love more than him, he just completes me like no one else ever has.” The way Isabelle talks about Simon and her love makes Magnus’ heart melt, she really found her happiness with him.

 

“And, becoming a Vampire?” He doesn’t want to push into unknown territory, but Isabelle seems more then happy to talk about it.

 

“It was a hard choice and the simplest one of all” she pauses, he can see the emotions running through her eyes, it’s probably been some years since she’s really thought about it again. “Things… Things changed quite sharply around here, a lot happened and when we came out the other side, all of us had changed. Me, Clary, Jace, Al…Alec, none of us were the same people we used to be. It was difficult.”

 

“I’m so sorry Isabelle” He moves his hand resting on the back of the couch and grabs her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He wants to know more, to listen to Isabelle’s story but at the same time his mind his screaming at him.

 

**What happened to Alec? What happened to Alec? What happened to Alec?**

 

“Don’t be” the abruptness of her answer brings Magnus back to the room, “the past is the past and I’ve made peace with it, we can’t change it.” The smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes but it’s still genuine.

 

“Isabelle I’m sorry to ask, but… But what happened…” He suddenly can’t speak; can’t form words and he feel the tears returning.

“What happened to Alec?” She asks, reading him so well. Magnus closes his eyes, willing the tears to stop coming. He needs to know this; he needs to hear this. He nodded.

 

 

 

 

“He died!”


End file.
